Flightless Bird
by Origional Sinner
Summary: A continuation of the Twilight Saga. Set four weeks after Breaking Dawn. The story seeks to explore some of the key themes and unanswered ideas in the Saga, and look at the impossible concept of forever.


**Flightless Bird**

"_For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted".  
_Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

**Prologue**

What do you wish for when you have everything?

When you have the man you always wanted, dreamed of, wished for, fought for?

When you have a beautiful daughter which you battled with fate to preserve, and turned the world against you to keep her heart beating in her chest, who you would gladly give your life for.

I wished for peace. Not in the Miss World sense.

For a time of rest.

Immortality should conjure the idea of perpetual nothingness, unshakable repetition and eternal permanence.

For me that didn't exist, each day we were faced with fresh challenge, testing our natural and impulsive nature, denial of what we are, a trial in self control.

For most of us a continual state battle with our own willpower, nervous exhaustion a constant feature in my life.

How I longed for moments where I could just simply "be".

**Chapter 1- Nothing is forever**

I had thought my life would be perfection. For so long I had asked to become vampire, I had begged for it, yearned for the moment that I could finally say I belonged. A real family, a home, a mother and a father, brothers and sisters.

Unashamed love.

Not just because I was kin, but because I was wanted.

A chosen family, not a dysfunctional one thrust upon me.

Sure, I loved my mom and dad, but they had their own issues, passed from each for various amounts of time, wanted by both, and yet each had their own life to lead their own agenda. I was always torn.

In a way I was glad to leave that world behind.

My immediate transformation had been delight, I saw the world refreshed and anew. Colour, texture, smell and light all seen through immortal eyes, the way it should be seen, the way it seemed God had intended it. I could see the design in the earth around me. The way the rain fell, the rebirth of the seasons, the prey and the predator.

It hurt me to the core that my human father Charlie or hapless mother Renee would never see the world in this way. Their eyes cloudy to the reality of existence, along with other mortals. It pained me that they would never see this world, deluded with the rest of humanity. The ignorant masses chained in Plato's cave, watching the dancing shadows cast onto the walls, believing these reflections to be the truth. Edward had released me from those shackles when I met him, rescued me from believing those dancing reflections and led me from the darkness into the light of the world beyond. An ironic metaphor I concluded, what with our aversion to sunlight unless we wanted to destroy the cave completely and let the world be seen for what it really is. Not that the Volturi would ever allow that.

Not that humans could even handle that I thought wryly.

Edward always laughed that I turned every thought or emotion a human should have upside down. I had taken the news that the object of my desire was a vampire pretty well all things considered. I thought that was because my brain didn't work properly, and where "normal" people should have been terrified and ran a mile I was intrigued and compelled to know more.

I suppose I always knew there was something more.

Something more than Phoenix, looking after my mom, and Phil's minor league baseball.

Something more than Forks, Charlie and policing a tiny insignificant town, dinner at the diner and fishing at the weekend.

At least I was right, there was something more, beyond the world of the mundane was the world of magic. Of wolf people and vampires, ancient covens and primeval laws, mind reading and future visions. There had to have been. The thought of living on through this world where there was no Edward, no Renesmee, no Cullens, no Jacob or his Pack gave me physical pain.

What would have become of me? College? Maybe teach high school English one day? Meet Mr. Smith who taught History a few classrooms down the hall? Had a couple of kids and died warm and old in my bed? Sure it would have been nice, it would have been very "Forks".

It would not have been very "Bella". And so, here I am, age eighteen and 17 months, a wife a mother and a vampire.

All I ever wanted and more.

So why do I feel like it cannot last?

That impossible concept of Immortality completely goes against everything known to this world.

Nothing is forever, I honestly believe that. The days of our life are numbered, mortal or immortal.

The fossil fuels will run out.

The stars will become a supernova.

The sun will become a white dwarf.

The Cullen's will be no more.

**Chapter 2-**

"_Moma!_" cried Renesmee from her beautiful hand crafted iron crib, nestled in her own room in Edward and Bella's cottage not far from the main Cullen house.

"_Coming baby_" came the soft answer from the next room. It felt very strange that her six moth old daughter could talk, let alone call out for her. Most mothers with babies at that age were distraught with lack of sleep, struggling to lose the baby weight and only dreaming of a time when they and their husband managed to think about sex again. Here she was the soft morning light flooding from a gap in the thin muslin curtain, with the love of her life, her husband of seven months gently stoking the curve of her back making patterns with the warm tips of his fingers. They had made love as their child slept soundly in the next room of their stone cottage, taking time with each other, never rushing, after all they had all of the time in the world. After the Volturi had left four weeks earlier they seemed to savour every moment with each other, stretching even the most mundane tasks in order to spend time alone as a family.

At six months Remesmee looked more like three and a half, she had the slender features of her mother, slim arms and long graceful legs (of course Bella would argue that the graceful part only came after her transformation). Her bouncy copper coloured curls sprang wildly to just below her shoulders, her creamy skin was typical English rose with flushed cheeks. All finished off by deep brown eyes the colour of milk chocolate, the same as Bella's used to be before they became gold with flecks of amber.

"_I should go get her_" Bella said as she sprang gracefully from the bed and threw on a silk robe, not her choice, she would rather have some thick practical towelled gown, not that she ever got cold anymore, simply to retain some semblance of the old Bella's style. It silk robe was left over from when Alice created her honeymoon wardrobe, she still cringed at the thought of those lace underwear sets and miniscule swimwear she had packed for her, and reminded herself that she had vowed to pay Alice back for that, something which was very hard to do since Alice could see the future. Some way she would get round it, it would just take plenty of careful thought, and maybe some inside help from Jasper, who she was sure would not mind such equal payback!

"_Mmmm, If only she could have slept only another half hour_" whispered Edward who propped himself up on his elbow as Bella had jumped up. He eyed her flat stomach and long legs eventually focussing on her breathtaking heart shaped face. Pale as first snow, and flawlessly smooth with large almond eyes which often expressed her innermost thoughts, a very handy trait when it was only Bella's thoughts that Edward could not read. Bella rolled her eyes at her insatiable Husband, and then flashed him a killer smile, inwardly glowing that she had not missed this part of their "honeymoon period" by being a crazed newborn intent only on quenching the fire that was her desire for human blood.

Within seconds she was back with Renesmee in her arms, so quickly a human eye would not have noticed she was gone.

"_Daddy! What are we going do today?"_ Renesmee squealed as she wriggled across the bed towards Edward who tickled her gently on her tummy, as she giggled loudly her legs flaying all over the bed wildly. Bella looked on lovingly, her Edward and her daughter playing as if there were nobody else in the world, innocent as if the world were their playground. Images of the last year flashing quickly through her mind, the repeated classes she had taken with Edward, the boring teachers, the assignments, all seemed a world away from what her life was like now. She thought of her friends who had all attended their wedding seven months ago, and what they were doing now. Jessica was at Ithica studying social sciences and Angela and Ben both went of to UCLA, after deciding the weather of Forks was enough to drive them so far South towards perpetual sunshine. Of course she had promised to visit, a promise she could never keep.

Mike had stayed in Forks to become general manager of his Dad's sports store on the outskirts of town, a move he insisted was only temporary until he got some college money together, although most people thought that Mike would never really leave, especially since his dad bought him a new car, a silver Volvo, that looked suspiciously like Edwards.

None of them knew about Renesmee, how could she ever explain her?

Bella had already looked four months pregnant by the time she and Edward had returned from Esmee's Island off the coast of Rio even though they had been there a little under three weeks, and Renesmee was born only three weeks later. There would be a lot of explaining to do if the town knew she and Edward now had a baby who looked three and a half. A fact that she hated, she would have loved nothing better than to show off her family, how proud she was of them both.

They had gone to Seattle for the day when the weather was dull enough, and looked in store windows and art galleries anything which entertained Renesmee's increasing intellect. Renesmee insisted on walking in the middle of them her tiny hand in each of theirs swinging several feet into the air, never satisfied at the human heights Edward kept her to, knowing he could safely throw her fifty feet and catch her gently again. People would often stare at the most stunning small family, some even stopped in their tracks at the two striking teens with the exquisite toddler in tow, some looked round to see if they were models filming a cheesy commercial.

They were forced to completely avoid Forks. People would instantly recognise that something was not quite right at the change in her features which had developed her average looks into beautiful proportions. It would cause them to ask questions which the world would not understand, and would involve the Volturi if she chose to answer.

As far as the people of Forks knew, Bella was the girl who bagged the last single and most beautiful Cullen, and they were currently both studying English Literature and Art History at the University of Alaska. Only Charlie and Billy Black knew the truth, and even then only as much as they needed to. They often visited the main Cullen home, Charlie was a devoted Grandfather, who saw the old Bella immediately in Renesmee, despite Edwards attempt to pass her off as a long lost niece. Billy understood that Renesmee was his future daughter-in-law, after Jacob's werewolf gene had forcibly imprinted on her the day she was born, despite her mixed blood heritage.

"_What would you like to do Nessie_" asked Edward, Bella grimaced at that name, she still couldn't get used to this reference to her beautiful daughter as a giant sea monster. "_Sorry_" Edward mouthed recognising the reaction at his sentence. It wasn't his fault, he heard it so often when hearing the thoughts of others, it was bound to stick in his head.

"_I want to see Aunt Rosie_"

Bella felt a pang of jealousy rip right through her, although Rosalie was the only Cullen to really stand by her when she was pregnant with Renesmee, she always felt slightly used by her. Rosalie had confided that she had always wanted a child, it was one of the reasons that she wished she was not a vampire and had voted no at the meeting when Bella had asked the Cullen's to decide if they wanted her as part of the family. When Renesmee was born and Bella was dying, Rosalie had taken Renesmee immediately, and not given her up until everyone was sure Bella would not harm her daughter, three days after her birth. Bella would always notice the look in Rosalies eyes when Renesmee fell asleep in her arms, a pining that only she and Emmett noticed.

"_Well ok then, lets get you ready_" Bella faked her enthusiasm at this plan, and went to the cottages walk in wardrobe where Alice had added a whole section of children's clothes. Walking over to the rail she noticed paper tags suspended from each of the hangers marked "Monday" "Tuesday" "Wednesday" etc…... Bella realised with a scowl the handwriting belonged to Alice, she didn't even trust her to pick out her own child's clothes!

Purposefully she picked up Tuesdays hanger, a pair of tiny combat style jeans and a t-shirt encrusted with diamante crystals emblazoned with some hideous designer brand, she winced at the cost of the t-shirt alone. At the rate Renesmee was growing she would only get to war it once.

In one quick movement Bella tore the note from the hanger, balled it up and threw it over her shoulder, instead choosing Renesmee a cute little sundress, red with white polka dots, and a little white cardigan and red patent shoes.

If her baby was growing up this quickly then she would keep her looking like a little girl for as long as she could. No doubt Renesmee would complain, but Edward would understand. In only eight or nine years Renesmee could be a full grown woman and not a little girl anymore. It was already becoming a stretch for anyone to believe that she could be Renesmees mother, they imagined that she was some very young teen mom of only fourteen or so when she had her, and looked down their nose at her precious family. She would be an equal to her child in the blink of an eye, no longer able to sit her on her lap to read stories, or carry her to her crib when she fell asleep in her arms. Of course she knew she was strong enough to do all of that, she just knew how silly it would look. She had never really thought of being a mother, but now that she was, the thought of her baby growing up so quickly pained her, she so easily had found her first regret at not being human, jealous of those who had the luxury of time with their children.


End file.
